Feeling Defeated

I've started and stopped and deleted and restarted this post several times over the past few days; I've decided to just go with it and have it out there. I try to keep this place positive, creative, fresh, and welcoming but sometimes I am not feeling any of those things. Sometimes I still need an outlet (versus just not posting when I am not feeling it) to organize thoughts and process energy, even if it is negative energy.

Things I've been feeling lately may include but are not limited to: drained, uncertain, afraid, self-doubt, defeated, exhausted, frustrated, worthless, etc. At this point, most of you probably have some idea of my current situation (to some degree). I've been unemployed awhile, and as much I wish I could magically make this blog, my crafts, my designs instantly and successfully into a career, I really need some sort of income. Which is fine, right? You can just go out and get a job, right?

Let me break it down for you. Yes, there are jobs out there — but the pool of candidates is so ridiculously saturated. I know that every time I throw my resume into the ring for a position that I am going up against hundreds of others with a huge range of backgrounds, ages, experiences, qualifications. So many people just want work (don't get me started on how awful the minimum wage is), and are working so hard to hopefully maybe get something. For most jobs I apply for I have to: redo my resume (tailor it specifically for that job posting), write a cover letter, freely give out any additional information, complete ridiculous questionnaires, complete skills tests, and I have even gone so far as creating mock-ups for companies (for a few design related positions I've applied for). Most businesses and companies specifically ask you to not come in to apply — it's all online now. And if you do get an opportunity to peek your head in somewhere, good luck actually getting to speak to the person in-charge of hiring (and if you do, you get maybe 5 minutes). All to never hear anything back.

I feel so defeated. I'm tired. I don't want to do this anymore; I'm putting so much of myself forward just to never get answers from places — I have to nag and nag to ever get answers. I'm putting so much work into just trying to find any sort of employment that I have no energy left for things I enjoy. I've been having really low moments when all I can tell myself over and over again is that I have to stop thinking that I am ever going to be able to have a career I want. I have to stop believing that people that are hiring give any amount of shit about me. But, these moments can't last long. Because I know if I'm ever going the get a job I have to keep all of this up.

I guess, ultimately I feel frustrated because there is so much I want to do. I want to rebrand and relaunch this blog with more focus. I want to offer design and consultative services to other bloggers. I want to focus on my art and graphic design. I want to finally open my Etsy shop. I want to run my own business. Because I spend so much my energy toward finding a job, I have little time to work on the things I am passionate about, things that could potentially be rather successful and rewarding. I know it all will take time, but right now I don't feel that I'm moving forward at all (or in any direction, for that matter).

How do you keep going when you feel like all the cards are stacked against you? How do you move past feeling defeated?

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+ 5 Tips for Evaluating a Business Idea
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+ 41 Happy Things

Hope this week is treating you well.
xx Emorie


  1. Oh Emorie, my heart does go out to you. Looking for work can be the most soul wrenching thing in the world, but don't give up, don't allow it to want you to give up.

    My suggestions? Take any job.. being employed in any shape, makes you more employable. Do volunteer work. This will keep you more connected to the outside world and give you a sense of being. The career you want may need to take a step back for awhile, don't let go of it though.

    If you can afford to, put your energy into your etsy shop. Change the scenery for awhile. I am a wee bit older than you, but was going through a struggle recently and found that this guy really helped me http://www.raptitude.com/. He puts things into perspective for me.

    Don't try to be too many things at once.

    I wish you all the best sweetie..

  2. Rachel SullivanApril 17, 2014

    Scary stuff. I'm about to go job hunting myself, and I know just from applying to part time jobs in high school how hard it can be to get one!

    I wish you the best of luck, and my tips on beating the blues are to take a drive, listen to some jams, and consider seeing a therapist (helped me tons).


  3. I know how you're feeling but please don't give up! Remember: the darkest hour is just before the dawn - it always helps me to think about it. When I just moved here and was looking for a job, I went through the same frustration: it's small town, with very limited jobs available, too many people who need jobs, tons of tailored resumes and applications that I never get to hear back from. I know how it is. But I also know that you shouldn't give up if you know what you want, you'll get it! GOOD LUCK!!!

  4. RosieBaillieApril 18, 2014

    I kinda know how you feel, it took me 2 years to find a part-time job when I was in college. It's definitely not easy to just go out and get a job like people seem to think it is.

    When I feel a bit burnt out or defeated I find reading a good book (usually one I've read and loved before) helps me unwind a little. :)

    I hope you hear some good news back from some of your applications soon.

  5. Oh dear, I know how you feel! In 2009 I graduated from college and started looking for a job (like an office job, receptionist, something in the field of English) and I could not find anything. I must have applied to over 100 jobs in my city. We have three colleges here, and I applied like crazy for library assistant positions and help desk personal. I couldn't find anything. At the time I was working part time at Barns and Nobles and also part time at a breakfast fast food area. I had believed for so long that once I graduated getting a job with my degree would be easy! I didn't really have high standards either, I just wanted a job that paid a little more then min wage that didn't involve food. Maybe a cubical? Maybe a phone?

    After searching and searching I came to understand that it just wasn't going to happen. Everywhere I went I was one of hundreds applying, many who had been working in their field for much longer then I. My fresh-out-of-college paper meant nothing.

    So I got a job making cheeseburgers. It paid a little more then min wage, but that's because it was third shift. The plus is that it was in the same town as my then-boyfriend! But it was not anywhere near what I thought I would be doing after college.

    So that is when I started Silver Moon Creations. Because I wanted something of my own and I realized I needed to make it myself.

    This really hit home to me when my best friend graduated from the same college I did with a 3.9gpa (mine was 3.2) and she also could not find a job other then working at Bed Bath and Beyond. She is currently getting her masters now.

    The job market is so hard and now a days companies want to cut cost and get the cheapest work ever. I've seen a steady decline in any creative jobs. I think that is why a lot of creative types run their own business. I know you are perfectly capable of having any job you want. You are driven and amazing and very very talented!

    I wish you luck. I hope you are able to just relax and perhaps sell a few things here and there while waiting and working towards your goals, rather it be outside or inside your home!

  6. You are not alone in this one, friend (I mean, look at all these amazing comments!) I remember feeling that way so often before deciding to go back to school. Applying to jobs is a huge expense of time and your emotions are all over the place, from feeling like you're certainly qualified (then hearing nothing) to feeling depression because you don't feel qualified for the open positions. Looking for work is huge work.

    For me, going back to my part-time retail job has been a really positive change in my life. It's a local boutique with awesome coworkers. My job is fun! Even though it's not a career, it's a way to put money in my pocket and usually brightens my day. It might not be ideal, but I bet you'd be a great fit at a local craft supply store (and, I bet they're hiring in anticipation for Mother's Day, which is big in the boutique/craft/gift retail industry.) A part-time position might also give you enough flexibility to pursue your creative passions and dreams.

    Good luck, dear! Remember to go easy on yourself, treat yourself with kindness, and always remember that your worth is not defined by your employment.

  7. I sincerely hope you are able to find a job- it is such a hard time to find one, and it sounds like you are doing all you can ( something that seems super scary to me, but which seems to help, especially if they wanted the application to be online, is to call back after a week or so to see where things are with the job. It gives you a chance to have personal contact with someone and shows them you are interested...)

    And you know, even if it is something you can only chip away a little at a time, I think starting an etsy and/or design business is great! Good luck with that too!

  8. I know exactly how you feel. It sucks. I actually have started my own business, but at the same time I'm applying to jobs all the time because I need the money, and flat-hunting in hopes I can make my move to London where I will hopefully be able to work as a photographer and grow my freelance income even more, and it's exhausting. And then I get anons telling me I'm lazy and unemployment is my fault and "there are always jobs somewhere." Yes, and a hundred people more qualified than I am lined out the door. Such bullshit. I especially hate it when older people throw that at you and accuse you of "blaming the job market" for being lazy and entitled. I. Will. Not keep going on about this. Man, seriously, GOOD LUCK. You can do it. Keep petting Pippin.

  9. That is a good point. Ring back and find out why you didn't get the job. You can then learn from this and see where there are gaps.